Confrontation to myself;

once a thought comes into my mind, then it's really hard for me to get it out - that thought keeps running inside my head in while(1) loop, that there's no break condition. I don't know why but somehow everything is connected to the one-year gap that I took, jizz that I regret it every day. But I keep living hoping that one day something will change but nope, nothing changed. Still the same cycle, the lame college, lame group. I need a way out of this.